Thanksgiving........

So....Thanksgiving this year for us was on the Sunday before.  We were blessed this year to have my brother make it to dinner!  I can't even remember the last time that happened.  Praise God he doesn't live too far away but with him managing a retail store.....well you can imagine right?

We got all our groceries and had our plan in place.  Sunday morning with the house just about clean (ugh!) it was time to get the show rolling.  Halt!...James woke up with more tooth pain so after he put in the turkey (before I got out of bed) he went back to bed to try to let the pain killers start working.  Praise God our son Jared is the other chef in the house and he was a huge help with this years turkey dinner!!  Way to go Jared!

Bottom line....the food was FANTASTIC!  I think it was the best turkey James has ever made.  We pigged out!  Leftovers were next to gone on Monday!  At the end of the day we were blessed to have had our dinner days before any of the weather that came later in the week!

On the actual Thanksgiving Day.....well we didn't do a whole lot.  We watched a Law and Order marathon on TV and had some food and napped etc.  At least we were together :)

This time of year makes you reflect on where you have been, where you are, and where you want to be.  I have to say that even though we are praying for the right job to come along for James and money is tight.....I am soo blessed!  I have God who is showing us that He is with us every step of the way as we continue to seek Him.  I have a wonderful husband that I am so blessed to be with and so proud of!  Our kids.....goodness.....they have their days LOL.....just kidding!  Our kids are great!  I wouldn't trade them ever!  Family....friends....roof over our heads....food on the table....a car to drive (though it needs some help).  I am truly blessed and I do not want to ever take it for granted!

As for my playlist......here are a couple songs I have added recently :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mktjoryv_8Y  Bring It On - Steven Curtis Chapman

Now, maybe you’re thinkin’ I’m crazy
And maybe I need to explain some things
‘Cause I know I’ve got an enemy waiting
Who wants to bring me pain
But what he never seems to remember
What he means for evil God works for good
So I will not retreat or surrender

Bring it on

Let the lightning flash, let the thunder roll, let the storm winds blow
Bring it on
Let the trouble come, let the hard rain fall, let it make me strong
Bring it on

Now, I don’t want to sound like some hero
‘Cause it’s God alone that my hope is in
But I’m not gonna run from the very things
That would drive me closer to Him
So bring it on



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbDuM-f36Hs Keep Breathing - Kerrie Roberts 

Keep breathing
you'll make it
Don't give in
You're not done yet
Sometimes all that you can do is
Keep breathing and believing
Don't let go
Just hand on tighter
A little longer

Signing off......

-Gina

A New Season.......Ugh!

So I haven’t written for awhile. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to it’s just that when I would go to write I wouldn’t even know where to begin for that day. Ever been there? I think I go through seasons of writing and writing and then all of a sudden I don’t even know what to write.

So at this season in my life I am again in the tough position of having to be tested before I can move out of this season. Have I taken this test before? Umm……yes and I did not pass so…..here we go again. I truly want to pass this test and not have to go around this mountain again!!
Through it all James and I are seeking Christ. We know that no matter what the test, temptation, or trial…..Christ is always with us! Does this make it easy…..absolutely not!! Sometimes I struggle knowing that there are people that might be watching ……closely….. to see if I am truly relying on Christ and if I continue to walk the correct path. I am not perfect nor is my husband but we are doing the best we can to rely on Christ!

Those of you that know me know that I tend to have a song for the day or week or season etc. By the time I get through whatever trial I am going through I normally have a playlist :)  The first song for this season is:

No Matter What by Kerrie Roberts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA3MSqufJP4

Signing off for now…….

-Gina

My Princess.....Pray With Power

Yesterday I started a study on prayer and got through the first section that talked about desperation and do we realize that we NEED God.  It was good stuff!  Well this morning at work I randomly opened to a page in my "His Princess" book by Sheri Rose Shepherd and here is what God told me today :)

My powerful princess,

Do not waste your walk through life today.  Open your spiritual eyes.  Prayer is needed everywhere.  Anywhere you walk today I can and will order your steps, if you will let Me.  Pray while you're driving, while you're cooking, and while you're doing laundry and running errands.  Of all the weapons in the world, prayer is your most powerful resource.  Don't let the day begin or end without letting your prayers to Me pave the way in all you do.  Wherever you go, remember that part of your royal privilege is raising your voice to heaven.  So hold on to the promises that are yours and pray!

Love,
Your King and Intercessor

Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit.  Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere.
                                                                              - Ephesians 6:18

Trials and Suffering

Do you ever wonder why, since our Savior consented to suffering, we try to avoid it at all costs? 

For it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things, and through whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to perfect the author of their salvation through sufferings. (Hebrews 2:10)

Most of us do everything we can to sidestep the slightest twinge of discomfort.  But dodging pain makes for bit of a stressful existence.  How can we expect others to connect with our faith story when we've edited out the hard parts, the parts they would most identify with?

In the world today brokenhearted people are expected to keep their grief  hidden and told to "suck it up"
or else they're told to find a quarter and call someone who cares.  Even Christians in some areas lean toward putting the lid on pain.  Don't show your weakness....we are supposed to be holy and saddness and pain are not viewed as holy. 

Today I was reading about why Christians suffer and why we go through trials and I found some interesting things.


 And if we are [His] children, then we are [His] heirs also: heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ [sharing His inheritance with Him]; only we must share His suffering if we are to share His glory. (Romans 8:17)

So ....I would think everyone would be excited about this above verse and I think that many people only read up until this part: only we must share His suffering if we are to share His glory. Hmmm....I don't know about you but I sure like the idea of being an heir but the suffering part doesn't sound as inviting. I have read enough at this point in my life to know that this is what comes with being a Christian. Things are NOT always going to be easy. I have also been reading and listening to some teachings about people that have gone to minister overseas and when they describe what people are willing to do for their faith I am blown away. People risk their lives every day to be a Christian in other countries. They are tortured and killed and as this is going on they still stand for Christ. Makes me feel like a big ol' wimp!!

What are we willing to sacrifice or suffer through for our faith.....for Christ? We are so accustomed to comfort. We need to have the right shoes...the right couch, bed, TV....the right food. All of these things are so minor when it comes down to it. I feel like I should be soo very grateful for everything I have even if it is not the style or color I may want.

Sometimes trials come simply to test and purify our faith.

1 Peter 1:6-7 I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory. (MSG)

I heard someone say recently that God is not as interested in WHAT you do as HE is in WHY you do it. We all know he is interested in our Heart...our faith.....we don't have to KNOW every word of the bible. He is looking at the purity of our faith and sometimes we need to go through some things to purify our faith. It may hurt while we are going through but when we get on the otherside and see what God has done we can see a bit of how and maybe even WHY it was orchestrated that way.

Sometimes we have to go through trials to build compassion

 For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning.  (Hebrews 4:15)

I was just thinking that when I look back over my life I don't necessarily think fondly on the divorce that I went through in 1999. That was so very painful I cannot hardly describe it. As I have put some time and distance in there God still has made me go back and actually "work through" the pain and the feelings. Was is pleasant? NO NO NO! Do I think God caused this? Not necessarily but I do know that God is using what I went through for His glory now. He has been placing women in my path that are on the verge of divorce and I have gotten a chance to tell them the story of what God did in my life since that time etc and to encourage them. I know that God is using other things in my life as well. It is easier to reach someone for Christ when you have been where they are. They are more willing to allow you to speak into their lives!

Paul even talked about this in Phillipians 1:12-14 I want you to know and continue to rest assured, brethren, that what [has happened] to me [this imprisonment] has actually only served to advance and give a renewed impetus to the [spreading of the] good news (the Gospel).... most of the brethren have derived fresh confidence in the Lord because of my chains and are much more bold to speak and publish fearlessly the Word of God.

Even though Paul was in prison he was able to be used of God. If we are to be able minister to others, don't we have to face some adverse circumstances and allow God to then bring us through to victory? To trust Him and know that he will use our circumstances as a great encouragement to others in the process.

What have you experienced that has drawn you closer to God?


What trial from your past is God using to minister to others?

Defining Moments #1

Is there something you remember from earlier in your life that was a turning point in your life?  Something that changed the course of your thoughts ......your attitude.....how you viewed the world around you?  My next few blogs I am going to talk about some of my "defining moments" as I call them.  These are times in my life that I will never forget .....no matter how old I get :)  Some of these moments may be joyful and happy times and others may be painful and wounding.

BIBLE CAMP

One of my fondest memories of my teen years was going to Green Lake Bible Camp.  http://www.gllm.org/  I went four or five summers in a row for a week each summer.  I loved it.  I remember the first year we took a huge bus with a bunch of kids from our church.  I met many new friends and people that I still keep in touch with or at least know where they are still today.  Many of us that first summer made a pact that we would meet the last week of bible camp each summer and a few of us did.

We experienced many things together.  We played games like underground worship (which I think was banned a couple years later)which...when I think about it now....really makes me realize that I did learn things there...it wasn't just all fun and games.  We swam in the lake and each summer they would still make me take the swimming test to prove that I could swim before I could go past the rope (I was a lifeguard in training for crying out loud lol).  We played sports, walked into Spicer (it seemed soo far) and did the whole water slide and beach afternoon, we helped pick corn one summer, we put together a talent show one summer, etc.  

One summer while we were at camp a group of us were talking one afternoon about different students from our school that had died.  We talked about fond memories of them etc.  At the end of that conversation our pastor came to get the four of us that were from B.E. and told us that one of our classmates had died on a boy scout trip.  We were devestated! There is more to the story that I remember that actually hurts to even think about.   As I think back though I realize that we were in the best place we could be with Christian friends around us to support us and help us through.  I really felt something changed for our small group from B.E. that day.  We had experienced something together that we will never forget and we learned things about each other that week that caused a bond of deeper friendship.

On a lighter note....we had the best praise and worship!  The chapel was beautiful!  We would all pile in there and start to sing songs we had learned and before the worship time was over we were standing on the pews singing at the top of our lungs to God.  We had great campfires!  We had time together to talk about the theme of the summer and even the quiet time was good.  It was awesome and we all wished that we could take that excitement home with us to our home churches.  It just never seemed the same when we got home because we had experienced and learned things that caused us to change and everything at home had stayed the same.  I remember crying every summer because I did not want to go back home.  I wanted to stay where I felt closer to God and where the people around me were experiencing the sames things that I was.  

Have you ever experienced something like this?  Something that...when you try to explain it to others they just don't get it because "you had to be there?"

Content In Him

Phillipians 4:13 is probably a scripture that we all recognize right off the bat right? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. The scripture that God drew me to today was the one right before this....

Phillipians 4:12 I know how to be abased and live humbly in straitened circumstances, and I know also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance. I have learned in any and all circumstances the secret of facing every situation, whether well-fed or going hungry, having a sufficiency and enough to spare or going without and being in want.

The MSG puts it like this in verses 12 and 13: Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.

I guess what that is speaking to me today or what God is showing ME is that no matter the circumstances....the trials...the peaceful moments....the highs and the lows....that I can definitely keep my joy and be happy and content because I know the one who created me. I know the one who saved me...the one who walks beside me through every moment whether I feel that I need Him or not He is right there waiting for me to reach out to Him because He knows.............

It is in Christ that I find that contentment that most people long for.  I think sometimes we get caught up in what the world keeps putting in front of us and taunting us with. If we really stop and think....we don't really need those "things" If people only knew that Christ is the only one that can fulfill the longings....the desires. He is the only one that matters when it all comes down to it.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. - John 14:6

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled. - Matthew 5:6

Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4

Just a reminder to all of us that Christ is our EVERYTHING we need!  Give all your anxieties over to Him or scripturally it says cast all your cares on Him for he cares for you - 1 Peter 5:7. 

He is just waiting for you to let go......

Let go and let God!!

I Love You Too!

I was listening to something by Joyce Meyer or Beth Moore (sad that I cannot remember for sure which one said it) yesterday talking about the reason that we love in the first place is because God first loved us.

We love him, because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:19 (KJV) She said something then that really made me think.....why don't we just say.... "I love you too" He loved us first and showers us with his love....... It really made me think about when I see things like a beautiful sunset or some flowers as I am walking and I think to myself and sometimes say aloud Thank you God and actually I could also say.... I love you too. These things are ways that God shows me that He loves me. I don't know if this speaks to anyone else but for me it was one of those things that stuck with me that I won't forget. Sometimes just a couple of sentences can change your course of thought.

Sheila Walsh said this in a devotional that I just read this morning....do you think God is trying to give me a message?  LOL

Blessed be the Lord, for he has wondrously shown his steadfast love to me. — Psalm 31:21 NRSV

"If I had to give you my life’s message in one sentence, it would be this: as you are, right now, God loves you; and that will never change.

God loves you not because of who you are or what you have done but because of who he is. Your behavior does not impact the heart and character of God. You might think that on good days, God is proud of you; and in your not-so-attractive moments, he loves you less. But that is applying human logic to the heart of God, and it will always come up short. There is life-changing truth in the message of these three little words:

God loves you.
You!

Not just the woman whose kids learn their Bible verses while yours struggle to remember their names. Not just the woman who has been happily married for many years while you are still waiting for a husband. Not just the woman who is pregnant one more time while you weep with empty arms.

God is crazy about you"              — Sheila Walsh

Something concerning.......why is it that we can be very excited about something and we can tell others and have many agree with us and rejoice with us and then have this one person....out of the blue....say something contrary or something negative about what we are excited about it and it sucks the joy right out of the situation for you. Have you ever had that happen to you? Maybe you received a gift from someone and it is something so special to you and you show it to some others and they like it and they are happy for you and then ONE person says.....you know that looks dumb right? What happens to your whole countenance?
It is like they sucked the air right out of your balloon.

This happened to someone that I know recently and it really made me think ......why? Why can what one person says steal the happiness of that moment? Does it matter who it is that says it to you? Is it HOW it is said? No one can steal your joy unless you allow them to.....right? When we know and are Confident (key) in who we are in Christ and KNOW the truth (key) of His word about us I think it is much harder to steal that person's joy! You almost have to stop and think before you react when someone says something that could drag you down. You need to compare what that person is saying to what God says and then decide how you are going to react. You need to determine whose approval matters. Easier said than done I know. We need to remember that the enemy doesn't want us to be happy right?

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. 1 Peter 5:8-9 (NKJV)

I found it interesting how they state it in the Message Bible as well.

Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. 1 Peter 5:8-9 (MSG)

Okay......I will end for today. I have so much in me that I would love to talk about but I just don't quite know how to say it LOL. God is still working on me and praise God He is or I would be lost!

Thinking Back to the Long Weekend

I was just sitting here thinking back over the long weekend and I just had to smile to myself.  You know how when you have such fond memories of what happened and you so badly want to tell everyone how great it was and yet....you know they just wouldn't really "get it?"   They were not there so how could they understand the emotion that is behind it?  They don't necessarily think or feel like you do so they may think of it differently or not as deeply or they may think you are a little strange for being soo excited about something soo simple.  Well....regardless.....here is how my weekend was....for me!

Friday I was supposed to get done with work early so that I could go to the track meet at JM.  Things just didn't work out so I did not get there till after 5:00 but what a blessing.  As I walked up to the ticket window they told me they were in the process of shutting it down so I did not have to pay $7.00 to get in.  Sweet!  I immediately went to the concession stand knowing that my hubby probably needed something to drink since it was a very sunny and hot afternoon.  Beautiful!  I met up with him and we talked as we watched some of the running events.  The weather was just perfect.  Not to hot and not to cool.  Nice breeze. 

I sat while he went to coach some of the kids and I just watched and took it all in.  He had someone come and request that he cheer on a group of girls for their relay.  I watched him run back and forth across the field to cheer them on.  I watched how he encouraged the boys relay team that had a member injured in the last leg of their race.  God has given my husband such a gift to work with kids!  I love just sitting back and watching him in his element! 

Saturday we joined a group of friends and we canoed all afternoon!  It was an adventure!  We took Jared and Brandon with us.  It was an eight mile journey full of some absolutely beautiful weather, rocky areas where we had to get out and pull our canoes through, peaceful water where we just glided along, places to swim and rest, and the struggle to get through the last couple miles while we are all tired.  There were many times that I just sat back as we glided along and just took in the scenary, the sounds of the birds, the coolness of the breeze, and the quality time with family and friends.  God showed me that our canoe trip was just like our life long journey.  We run into issues and we also have times when we can just glide through but we don't just stand still.  We keep moving and things keep changing and we learn and grow through every experience and can expect that something will come along that we will need to help someone through and/or ask for help ourselves.  When we can take the time to see what God is showing us as we move along in the journey it helps us to feel more confident that we are truly not alone.  No matter what happens God is there with us!  He is not just there in the rough times....He is there on the sunny days while we are gliding through and he is showing us the beautiful flowers He sent for us.  He woos us along....we just need to slow down a bit and take a look!

Sunday we had church and as always it was a timely message from Pastor Dan on repentence!  We grilled out in the afternoon and just spent some time as a family before Jared and Brandon went with their dad.  It was a wonderful feeling on Sunday night knowing that I did not have to go to work on Monday.  Priceless!

Monday (Memorial Day) I was actually up before 6 am.  James and I had it set that we were going to enjoy the NCIS marathon on TV and grill and just chill out together.  We spent most of the morning watching these episodes and it was so nice to not do anything but hang out together.  James and I love spending time together and just talking and enjoying each others company.

As the day progressed and we grilled and James had to go to track practice I was reflecting again about how I felt like I was being lazy and I knew there were 15 million things I probably SHOULD be doing and yet I felt a peace about just being.  As I received that peace I sat and read my bible and just took in some Word and it fed me. 

Sometimes when we are so hungry and there just seems to be no amount or type of food that can satisfy us I believe it is the Word that we are truly missing.  We should be in our Word more than anything else that we read!  If we do not have a daily dose it is as if we are dehydrated and it takes extra time in the Word to rehydrate us.  I know that in James 1:22 is says But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.  We need to be living the Word and not just reading it like it isn't real!  I think sometimes we get caught up in being "doers" of things in the world that are not necessarily part of our walk and we forget our walk with Christ.  In our walk with Christ we not only need to be "doers of the Word" but we also need to take time to just "be" with Christ.  Take time to just sit at His feet and listen to what His word is telling and teaching us.  If we run run run all the time we are not able to grasp all that He is showing us! 

I guess through my whole weekend I was able not only to reconnect with my husband and not feel like our family was running all over the place but God showed me that throughout the whole weekend He was wooing me to Him.  He showed me the beautiful things that He has made for me and He met me in the times that I took to seek Him more intimately.  He showed me that no matter what we are doing if we stop for a moment to take it all in.....He is there...always.  All we need to do is to seek Him!

Children and Their Bag of Gifts

Have you ever watched your kids and saw that their actions remind you of someone?  Maybe it is your husband or your mom or maybe their brother or sister?  When you have a child you have a preconceived idea of what you would like your child to be like...right?  Oh admit it....you at least entertained the thought for a bit :)  Maybe you want them to play football like you did...or maybe you want them to be a doctor, etc.

As you watch them grow and you start to see their personalities come out do you always see what you thought you would see?  Maybe....maybe not.  All children are born with giftings.  For visualization's sake, think of it as a bag of tools that come with them.  We did not pack that bag or decide what the bag would contain.  God made these decisions right?  (For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. - Psalm 139:13)  God has a plan for each child and though parents have much influence over their child, I know that there are certain things you just can't make your child like or dislike etc. 

Here is an example: I love music.  I was in the band and the choir in high school.  I am on the praise and worship team , the dance team, and in any choir or production that we have at church.  My kids, on the other hand, do not necessarily desire to be in these things.  I can "talk them into it" sometimes but the desire is not even close to the desire God has given me for these things.  Does this mean my kids are defective or that I love them any less?  Absolutely NOT!  Does it mean that it won't change as they get older?  No....as they grow their personality can change with maturity etc.  At one point though, I had to come to the realization that my kids are not going to have my same personality (especially since they are boys).

Though my boys are not going to have MY personality, I have to say that when I see glimpses of ME in the things that they say, things they do, or the way they act......it warms my heart.  That is....when they are positive things I have done.  I realize that the male adults in their life have a greater influence on them so when I see one of my traits I feel extra special.  For example, I received an email from my son Brandon's teacher recently.  Here is what she said:

Another student was complaining about having so much late work to get done before the reward on Thursday. Brandon sat with him and encouraged him to get it done. He gave him numerous reasons why he should get it done and how he would be able to get it done if he tried. I appreciate his support for his classmates and encouraging them to be successful.  

This email had me smiling from ear to ear!  This is a glimpse of ME in Brandon.  This shows me that he watches what I do and listens to what I say, even if there is an eye roll at the time :)  I made sure to talk with Brandon that night and praise him for doing a great job etc.

This morning God had me thinking again about the influences others have in our childrens lives whether it be parents or friends etc.  This caused me to think about those that are still single and thinking about getting married.  They need to look at the person they are thinking about marrying and envision their life down the road several years.  They need to think about the fact that when they have children the boys will most likely follow the personality and traits of the father and the girls will follow the mother.  For some of you this is a great thing!  Wonderful!   For others....maybe it doesn't seem quite so bright. 

For those that already have kids.....no matter the situation.....it is NOT too late to make sure that your kids have the proper influences.  First of all.....Pray.  Pray that God would be the primary influence and guide the path of your child.  Second........ look at ourselves  If we are not walking with Christ and/or have bad habits or personality traits that we do not want our kids to have then we need to make some changes.  I know that many people believe that people can't change but I am here to tell you that change can happen if you allow God to make the change!  We cannot sit back and expect that others are going to be a big enough influence to keep our children from picking up bad habits.  Third......be watchful and aware of who your children spend time with, what they watch on TV, what they listen to, etc.  Everything that they are exposed to affects them in some way.  Can you ALWAYS be there to protect them from bad influences?  NO.....but you can train them up to walk with Christ and to know how to deal with these situations properly.

To this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that you should follow His steps.  - 1 Peter 2:21

If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.  For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.     -John 13:14,15

Am I an expert in any of this?  Absolutely not!  God is continuously showing me areas that I need to work on or change.  I will never be perfect as Christ is the only one that lived a perfect life without sin and HE is the example that I am trying my best to follow.  I pray that as I follow Christ that my kids will see this influence from Christ and continue to follow him for the rest of their lives. 

I could never ask for a better influence than that!!

Do you set a good Godly example for your kids?  Or for that matter....do you set a good example for others around you?  What traits do you see coming through your kids?

Huge Accomplishment for My Hubby!

This week brings my family….well mainly my husband (James) and I…..on the brink of the final miles of a journey that he (we) have been on for the length of our relationship so far.  (About 5 or 6 years).

It is stressful and exciting at the same time. We can see the destination point. We are at the top of the mountain and now just need to dodge a few pot holes and drop-offs on our way to get there while going about 90 miles an hour  :)  Now don't get me wrong....OBVIOUSLY James is the hard worker here with multi-page papers, late nights, cramming for tests etc but I have tried to be his cheerleader and help encourage him along.

James is going to be graduating from college!! This is such a huge accomplishment for him! He has gone to college full time for much of this journey as well as worked full time, led the teen ministry at our church, coached teams, was a referee, and most important of all a 24/7 husband and dad etc. God only knows how he made it through without skidding off the deep end and I praise God for keeping him safe through all the stress and procrastination.

This journey, to be honest, has sometimes seemed like we were on a scavenger hunt. There are so many things that he is interested in and so many things that he is good at that the final say had to be very CLEAR from God on which path to take and the key also was WHEN.  I learned very quickly that James is a very ambitious man and he has goals and dreams. He doesn’t just dream them in his head….he speaks them out and talks through them.   I used to mistake some of this as him actually doing all the things he was saying ….all at the same time……and I thought to myself….”there is just no way”….”I am going to lose my mind!” Then God showed me that this is the way He made my husband and that NO he is not going to do all of these things RIGHT NOW but in God’s timing and that I should trust Him!

I am soooo thankful that I listened to God! Though this journey has not always been easy to watch James go through, it has been such a pleasure to be able to watch him grow and change as God moves in his life. Had I stayed fearful and overwhelmed I would have missed all that God has done throughout these years! Not only has God worked in James’ life but He has worked in my life as well. As each obstacle came up not only did my husband have to learn to navigate accordingly and fall down and get back up….I did as well. When you are “one” with someone you struggle when they struggle and hurt when they hurt and cheer when they cheer! You learn and grow in knowing how to support and encourage them the way that God would have you. There are so many times when God would use me to speak into my husband’s life at a crucial time when he was struggling and I praise God that He did! 

I just want to say that I am so very proud of James!  He has really worked hard and persevered through the rough times relying on God and learning what it takes to move into an even deeper relationship with Christ.  He has fasted and prayed throughout and God has always been there to pull him through and teach him a lesson or two when needed.  I have such a respect for James and the gifts that he has.  I am so very blessed to have been given such a wonderful Godly man.  I can't even begin to express how much I love and respect him.  (stay tuned for our anniversary blog and you can say "oh puke" then LOL) 

Even as I wrote this the enemy tried to step in and cause issues and James and I prayed and asked God to step in and take over and He did and we give him all the glory and praise!!  Father we thank you for walking with us every step of the way.  We could not have made it without you!!

(I will be having a Graduation reception for James at Foster Arend Park.  The date is still TBD)

My Identity is in Christ

Now being a good Christian I don't ever wish that I could have certain things right?  I don't look at something that someone else has and wish that I could have it too right?  Or....maybe wish that circumstances were different and that I could have a bigger selection of different outfits so that it wouldn't seem like I am wearing the same things every week or the same shoes all the time etc.  I don't do any of that right?  WRONG!

I do have to admit that I am human and I have days here and there where I do struggle with wanting certain material things.  On the other days these things really don't matter so much to me.  Just because I do not have the new style of jewelry or shoes or clothes that seem to be "hot" right now does not mean that I don't look good or that I should be looked down upon.  Just because the car I drive does not and IS NOT new doesn't mean that I am not okay.

Just recently I went through a bout of this struggle.  I went to a purse party with my girlfriends (you know who you are) and I was very excited!  There were tons of purses and wallets and sunglasses galore!  Being that my husband and I had just spent some extra money within a few days before that on a new (new to us) car, I was hesitant to spend very much money.  My husband told me that I should go ahead and get something if I wanted to so I had a $ amount in mind.  When I looked at the price of the purses and wallets I was a bit deflated because I just didn't feel good spending that kind of money on a purse for me when I knew that I had other things I should probably use that money for at this particular time so I did not buy anything. 

Did this hinder me having a good time?  Not at all.  I was still able to use this time to fellowship with the girls and help them to find what they wanted and what looked good and razz them a bit etc. 

On the drive home I started to remember the last party that I went to with these girls was a jewelry party and I didn't buy anything there either.  I started to think about how they are able to compare their new jewelry and now they will all have new purses to talk about and I won't.  At that point, I called my mom and asked her what is wrong with me.  Why can't I just buy some things for myself and NOT feel like I am doing something wrong.  My husband is forever telling me to buy some things for myself and I just don't do it very often.  I ended up teasing my mom and telling her that I am ruined because of how I was raised to always make sure that there was money for everyone else and to put myself last.  It is true that my parents very rarely bought anything for themselves while I was growing up and I think as a parent I have started to model that.  I am going to work on treating myself once in a while (in moderation of course) and give myself a break on feeling bad about it.  Lord help me :)

As I went through this struggle with how I would like to be able to dress and what I would like to be able to feel free to do as far as getting my hair done and my nails and having a nice car etc.  This song came to mind and I started playing it over and over.  God uses music many many times to speak to me.  Each time I have had an opportunity since then I have played this song to remind myself. 

The song is "Identity" by Lecrae and part of what God was showing me is exactly what the chorus says:

I'm not the shoes I wear, I'm not the clothes I buy
I'm am not the house I live in, I'm not the car I drive
I'm not the job I work, You can't define my worth
By nothing on God's green earth, my identity is found in Christ.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74a32jFEDP4 click to hear the music and see the lyrics.  It really makes you think!

Material things are not important.  We should all be thankful that we have cars and clothes etc.  The more important thing is who we are in Christ and how He sees us.  It doesn't matter what other people think. 

We are to set our minds on the things above and not on things on the earth (Col. 3:2). God will supply all our need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:19).

So WHY do I admit this and put this out there for people to read?  Because for ONE it helps me to admit that I struggle rather than just push it to the back burner and not deal with it and TWO there just might be someone out there that God will use this message to reach. 

We ALL have things that we struggle with.........the question is do we admit it and ask God to help us to deal with it...........

One True Friend

When I was younger I used to dream of having a friend that I would do everything with. We would go to the pool together, have sleep overs, talk on the phone, tell each other about the boys that we like, and be able to grow up together and count on one another. This friend would want to spend time with me as much as I wanted to spend time with them and we would be like two peas in a pod.

Insert reality……I did have friends here and there. We did things together but I always felt like I had to chase them to spend time with them. Maybe it is that whole female thing where I want to be pursued LOL I don’t know. Anyway….I never felt like I ever had a best friend. I tried to be a good friend to many people and did get along with all different clicks and groups. I was the Dear Abby person that people could talk to about boyfriend/girlfriend issues etc. This is a gift that God has given me and He uses me in this way still 20 + years later!

A few years ago when the movie “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” came out I asked my husband to go to the movie with me. Little did I know how deeply this movie would affect me. I loved the movie but the emotions that God brought forth in me didn’t feel so good. God used this movie to help me start to deal with this longing that I have in having a good female friend that I can count on. I could not even talk when we left the theatre. When we arrived at the restaurant my husband asked me what was wrong and I asked him if I could have 10 min. I didn’t want him to say anything because I couldn’t talk. I just had him hold me in the parking lot of Applebee’s while I cried and cried and cried for 10 minutes straight. Talk about a release. I had held all these emotions in for so long and God had brought them to the forefront so that I could start to deal with them. My husband was very supportive and I felt safe and so very loved! He has been my very best friend since I met him and I poured out my heart to him about the situation. I felt a little better after that.

It has been a few years since that night and every once in a while I still feel that longing. God showed me after that night that He wants me to have that longing for Him! I need to put that focus and time toward my relationship with Him. Sure it is nice to have friends and I do have a good group of friends that I love dearly and we spend time together when we can. Families and activities prevent us from getting together very often but I see them at church twice a week etc. I don’t get to talk to them as often as I would like but I try to be content with that. I trust God and when there are times that I need to spend time with one or many of them….God provides the opportunity and place for that to happen. In the other moments that maybe my husband is busy and I would really like a female perspective….I do reach out once in a while.

Do I have one that I talk to on the phone every day? No. Do we do many of the things on my dream list? Not necessarily but we do pray for each other and have a girls night out now and then. I know that if I really need them….I can call and they will be there. God is still working in this area……He is fixing this place in my heart that feels like I am missing something on some days. When I feel that longing…..He steps right into that place and reminds me that He is my all in all! He is the one that is smitten with me. He is ALWAYS with me whenever I need a friend or feel insecure about a situation or maybe I need some advise. I don’t even have to pick up the phone……He is there and I am never alone. He speaks to me in ways that reach me so deeply that no one else could ever touch!

There is a song by Nicole Nordeman that I heard years ago that made me cry as God reminded me just WHO He is. It is called “I AM.” Here is a couple verses……I bawled like a baby at the concert when I heard this for the first time. God spoke to this longing that night in a way that deeply touched me.

Pencil marks on a wall
I wasn't always this tall,
You scattered some monsters from beneath my bed,
You watched my team win,
You watched my team lose,
You watched when my bicycle went down again,


CHORUS:
And When I was weak unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Elbow healer, Superhero,
come if You can,” and You said “I am”


Only 16, life is so mean, what kind of curfew is at ten PM
You saw my mistakes, You watched my heart break
Heard when I swore I’d never love again

CHORUS:
When I was weak, unable to speak,
still I could call You by name,
and I said “Heart-ache Healer, Secret-keeper,
be my Best Friend” and You said “I am”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXCXEb1Qupg (listen to the song)

Do you ever feel that longing and you don't quite know what you are longing for?  In those moments....try reaching out to God.  He is drawing you to Him.  He is the missing piece....the love that you have always wanted....the friend you can always trust.  He is our everything!  Try Him.....He is the best friend you could ever have!

Riding the Bus

I ride the busy on a regular basis. We have been down to one car for the last couple of weeks and so I get to be blessed with being the one to ride the bus. Some days I don’t mind it and other days I am truly aggravated about it.


In the morning…..I can tolerate riding the bus if I have gotten up early enough and I am ready without having to rush. Actually I like the fact that two of my boys ride the bus with me and I can talk with them on the way and give them a little send off when it is their stop. I also get an opportunity to read my email, Facebook, and blogs that I follow. I tend to be in a better mood these days because I get to work early and I can take my time going to my desk, maybe pick up a coffee on the way, or sit and read or write.


In the afternoon….I just happen to ride the bus that has a waiting line that starts at about 5:05. Our bus does not arrive until about 5:15 which is when we need to be leaving. It is over crowded and on several occasions, don’t ask my why, I have started to not feel so great on the way home and when I arrived home I needed to lay down for a bit till I felt better. I am not sure if it is the people that ride at that time or not enough circulation etc. I am a bit claustrophobic and I start to feel that way on that particular bus or it could be spiritual.


Why the difference? Why such a drastic difference? Is it maybe the fact that I am one of the last ones to have someone sit with me in the morning? (I don’t smell so I don’t understand why). I have a fresh outlook on the day in the morning and in the afternoon I tend to be anxious to get home because I may have somewhere else I need to be?


Bottom line….I know there is a reason that I have had to ride the bus for this season. It could be for one particular person on one specific day that God is going to touch. It could be the guy that sat with me a couple of weeks ago in the afternoon and struck up a conversation. He was only here for a few weeks. It could be the woman that I talked to while I was waiting at the bus stop. No matter what the situation….God can be using you to reach someone else. You may be uncomfortable or inconvenienced. Are you willing to do it for God? Are you willing to sacrifice your time?

People are always observing you whether you see them doing it or not. They are watching your reaction or your response to what others say. They may watch your facial expression as you watch someone sit down in your seat and maybe that person didn’t put any deodorant on that day. It could be the girl that looks over your shoulder to see what artist you are listening to on your Ipod. It could be the woman that you give up your seat to so she doesn’t have to stand in the aisle.

People are watching……what are they seeing in you?

  

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” - Matthew 5:16

My Son's Birthday

It is my son's birthday today.  He is 14 and I can't hardly believe it.  It seems like just yesterday he was inside kicking me or having the hiccups that would make my belly jump and make me laugh.  I think back to that day with fond memories believe it or not.  I had gone in to be induced and spent the day at the hospital waiting to get the party started with some progess in labor.  After they sent me home I sat on the couch and decided to have a couple pieces of chocolate cake and low and behold....my water broke and we had to go back to the hospital.  About 10 hours later.....Jared Michael was born.  I still love that name! 

I am truly blessed to be the one that God chose to be his mother!  He is such a treasure and I love him more than I can even express!  To think that God loves him so much more than we can fathom is almost overwhelming.  As much as I pray and ask God to help him in different areas of his life and to be WITH him and shine THROUGH him I have been blessed to watch this happen as he grows up more and more every day.  He still has struggles just as we all do but I can truly see that God's hand is on him.  To see him grow in his faith has been one of the best experiences that I could ever be allowed to see! 

Teens always tend to struggle with what is cool whether it be in how they dress or how they talk or walk and who they hang out with.  Jared has not been exempt from this.  As much as he begged to be homeschooled as he grew up he did admit to me the other day that he is glad that he ended up in public school.  He is glad that he is getting experience in how to deal with different situations.  Does he always make the right decision? No.  Is he always protected from the other kids who want to razz him....no.  I truly believe that God is working through Jared to reach some of these other kids.  Jared may not even realize it yet but has he becomes stronger and stronger in his walk.....the other kids will see it and some of them will want to know what sets him apart and some will walk away from him.  I know this will be a tough thing for him as I know, like every teen, he wants to be accepted but I continue to pray that God gives Jared the strength to be set apart for Christ no matter what his friends say or do.  Jared has a bold faith....I have seen it and I have heard from people that he has talked to about his faith and I am so proud of him for being willing to step out and communicate what he believes.

I am sure this whole thing will probably be a little embarrassing for Jared if he were to read it but I just really needed to talk about how proud I am of him.  Of course I let him know this on a regular basis but I also know that sometimes when we get in trouble or make a mistake we forget the good things that have been said and tend to dwell on the negative things.  I just want to make sure that Jared knows that no matter what.....I will always love him!  I will always be there for him to help to guide him and I pray that he continues to grow in his walk with God.  That is the most important thing and I truly believe that he is realizing this!  I sooo look forward to watching Jared continue to grow!  It is going to be a fantastic journey and I am so blessed to be along for the ride!!  I love you bud!  Happy Birthday!!

-Mom

Stirred Up

I have many things that have been swirling around in my head and my spirit lately. Do you ever feel like you are just stirred up and you just don’t quite know what to do with yourself? I so badly want to have some significant time to just dive into the Word and yet….when I do have some time…I don’t always feel like I am getting what I am aching for? I can’t put my finger on it. It kind of reminds of when you are craving a certain food and you try eating all these other things and you just don’t feel satisfied until you get the food you were craving. You are better off just having what you are craving and save yourself the extra calories right?


I have been seriously feeling as if there is something that I am supposed to be doing or someone I am supposed to be talking to or something. I feel like it is on the verge of bursting out of me and I am not quite sure what that even is? I do know that I have had this extra yearning to talk about things whether it be about things that happen throughout the day or what I have read in the Word or in an article etc. I feel this need to be able to talk to someone about it. I was hoping that blogging would help with this and sometimes it does but there are times when I would like feedback and since I don’t have many followers and I am not even sure if anyone is reading my blogs. God let me know when I started this blogging journey that it wasn’t about how many or who read them….it was an outlet for me to express the things that I am experiencing etc and that He would lead the people to the blog that needed to read it. I guess I just need to continue to be obedient and let God take care of the rest of it. I guess I might need to write more often and not worry about what people will think or if I put in enough scripture etc. I just need to write what I feel led to write.  I need to keep my focus on God and not let myself get distrated.....even just by the fact that I feel something stirring in me. 

God—you're my God! I can't get enough of you! I've worked up such hunger and thirst for God, traveling across dry and weary deserts. So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open, drinking in your strength and glory. In your generous love I am really living at last! My lips brim praises like fountains. I bless you every time I take a breath; My arms wave like banners of praise to you. I eat my fill of prime rib and gravy; I smack my lips. It's time to shout praises! If I'm sleepless at midnight, I spend the hours in grateful reflection.
Because you've always stood up for me, I'm free to run and play. I hold on to you for dear life, and you hold me steady as a post.  - Psalm 63:1-5 MSG

Exercise High

Okay...so I just got done going for a walk on my lunch.  I can't even think of the last time I have done that.  A friend of mine suggested it and I thought .....I probably should.  Now that I am done..I feel good.  Why is it that I cannot remember this feeling so that I can be motivated to do it again?  What happens to us to bring us to a point where even if we do remember that it feels good when we are done....we still don't want to do it?  Is there a mental lapse?  Am I just lazy?  Maybe I don't want to hear the answer to this. 

I have decided to take this moment of feeling good and try to build on it.  I am not going to think about all that I have done wrong.....or all I ate yesterday....or even how much weight I need to lose etc.  I am going to take this as a step in the right direction and I am going to encourage myself to keep moving in that direction.  This is such an emotional .......Game ......basically.  I realize that there are times that we need to be tough on ourselves and then there are times when you just need to encourage.  I realize that no matter what...I cannot do this on my own.  If I do not seek God's help I cannot do it.  I definately learned that a year ago.  I need to take this as a good starting point and keep my eyes on God and press....and press.....and keep pressing on.  When I get tired....I can lean on Him.  No one can do this for me.....as much as that would be nice what would I actually learn?  I just need to stop my complaining (as I read in someone's blog this morning) and realize that I have to make the decision to do this if I want the end result.  As my husband would say....I need to suck it up and drive on.  :)

Sometimes Sunday Makes Me Sad

This morning it was tough to get out of bed.  Mondays are sometimes rough....especially when my husband says he has to go in early.  We have this wonderful weekend and then it is back to the work week. 

Am I grateful that we both have jobs?  Yes!  Is it wonderful that I have an ambitious husband?  Yes!  Do I like my job?  Yes!  For some reason though on Monday mornings when we all leave the house and go in separate directions it just makes me feel alone!  I am very much a family person.  Saturdays and Sundays are the highlight of my week!  I love spending that family time together.  When the kids are at their dad's my hubby and I take time for us.  He is my best friend and I love spending time with him!  Is it selfish to want to have that all the time?  I know I know....life just doesn't work that way.

Last summer my husband was feeling like this (and I know he still does) and he wrote a poem about it.   

SOMETIMES SUNDAY MAKES ME SAD


Sometimes I wish Saturday lasted all year
Because on Sunday morning I wouldn't just stare
I think "Will it be the last time I get to watch you this way?"
As I watch you sleep peacefully as softly you lay
As my hand smoothes gently across your skin
(You smile gently and I watch you and grin)
Peace settles on you and you never open your eyes
You know it's just me when I'm touching your thighs

You open up to me knowing we’re connected
Never opening your eyes because the day becomes hectic
I think to myself many will try to tear us apart
Wanting my time from your time and away from our hearts
I'd flirt across the room and you'd know my thoughts
I am not listening to them and then we engage our plot
You smile "Will you rescue me and take me away?"
"Take me back to when it was a night called Saturday?"
"Even though we had a fight when we were nestled in our bed"
I'd rather listen to you snore than to hear them instead

Sometimes Sunday makes me sad
Cause I have to share you with the world
Wanting to tuck you away and hide my beautiful pearl
Wanting to be selfish and keep your warmth all to myself
As selfish as that is they don't know the kind of love we've felt
As we slowly move forward to what will become Monday
We take a nap during the day to make Sunday try to stay

But sometimes Sunday makes me sad
Because it becomes a day closer to being without you
And the night is further lost to another day of going through
Moments I could have had if I were with you

Sunday's are great when there is no one at home
But I'd rather have my Sunday's with you
Than to be without you ...Alone

By James W. Robertson, II (June 16, 2009)


So what am I going to do about today?  I am going to get my attitude in check and I am going to look forward to what God has planned for me!  I know there is a reason why I work at the job that I have and I know that God is using me to touch others as I go throughout my day. 

Lord, thank you for giving me this day!  It is another opportunity for me to share YOU with others.  Help me to walk the path you have set for me.  Help me to be sensitive to those that are needing a touch or a word from you Lord.  Help me to shine YOUR light wherever I go!  In Jesus Name.  Amen!

Hidden in Him,

Hidden in Him, 
(click on Hidden in Him for a wonderful article)


There are so many of us that are struggling with different things today.  How we choose to deal with it can vary depending on what the storm in our life entails.  I know that many times I stuff it and eat to deal with my emotions!  I can very easily get overwhelmed and just want to crawl into my bed and sleep....that seems to be a coaping mechanism for me as well.  This is NOT what God would have us do!  The enemy loves it when we run away and hide from a situation.  He loves it when we separate ourselves from church and from our Godly friends.  It is at these moments....when we are alone that the enemy brings thoughts to our minds that are against the word of God.  We need run TO God and press in!  He is our protection.  He is our comfort.  When we are weak....He is strong.

There are times when the struggle we are having causes us to want to fight back.  We want to defend ourselves and show the person that is hurting us that we are stronger.  In the particular case that I am thinking of in my life....the fight is not flesh and blood....it is spiritual.  As much as we want to protect our loved ones and go tell this person they better stop messing with this person we love.....we need to let God handle the situation.  We need to let Him fight the battle.  He is able to do this AND lead the person to salvation in the process if they will submit.   I don't think this person that is causing the problem realizes they are messing with a child of God!   

God is using this scripture for the situation.........Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest.