And So....I Begin Again

Here is the first day of the rest of my life........

How often have I said that.  I start a new eating program or workout program or promise myself I will keep the house clean, or read my bible every day, etc.  Does it continue after that day?  Yes ...but it doesn't necessarily become a habit.  Sooo....I start again on Monday or when the kids get out of school or when we have money or whatever the excuse is this time. 

Why do we feel that we need to have an "official" start date for something?  Will it help us start on the right foot?   I have found that when or how I start honestly hasn't mattered a whole lot if I am not able to continue what I have started.

Today.....I am past the start day of changing.  I dove in and here I am struggling to continue and so I thought this would be a good time to write about it.......after I have already started.....but before I give up.  Sound good?  And so I continue on the path............

-Gina

Being Tested

This morning I felt led to talk about the word test.  There are many different ways that people view this word.  Some people feel anxiety when they hear it maybe because that word brings back memories of taking a written test for school or for some it may mean going to the doctor and having a test. 

Thinking of a test in biblical terms it means to prove by trial.  When God tests us He is looking to prove that our faith is real.  Well actually He is proving to us that our faith is real, that we are truly His children, and that no trial or test will overcome that faith.  Sounds easy enough right?  Hmmmm.....not really when you are going through it ........right? 

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  James 1:2-4

Sometimes when I think about being tested a good visual is that of a game....a PS3 game if you will.  When you start out you don't know how to play very well.  As you continue to play and fail and start over and then fail again you eventually learn how to pass that level.  You have to be able to pass level 1 to get to level 2 and so on.  That is similar to what happens in my life.  I work on changing something in my life or strengthening an area that is a weakness and I get tested in that area.  If I don't pass the test then I know the next time the test comes around I need to be prepared.  When I have passed it it doesn't mean that I never get tested in that area again but it sure does seem easier to pass it when I do. 

I believe that God also uses tests to get our attention in areas that we have not been focusing on or that we have gotten maybe a little lax.  Sometimes when we are so focused on a particular thing we don't give enough attention or consistency to another area of our lives.  We figure that area can just coast for a minute while we put our effort and focus into something else.  Well.....we need to keep balance.

We need to maintain what God has given us and He gives us the wisdom and strength to do it when we seek Him.  We cannot do it all alone.  We need God's guidance.  He has the answers to every test.  He even gives us true or false questions rather than essay or multiple choice and it is an open book test.  How much easier can it get and yet we still fail many times.  We figure "I got this" and we blow through the questions and move on to the next task.  When we get our test score back and realize we failed we are astonished.  How could we have failed that?  Upon closer look we see that many of the questions we got wrong were easy ones but we just didn't stop and think.

 He can even use tests to show us an area where we need to change so that we are prepared for something to come in our future such as a mate, a new job, or a more indepth test for example.

We truly need to be seeking and walking with Christ at all times.  We can't just figure that since things are going well we will take a break for a bit.  These are some of the moments when we are most tempted to stray away from the path.  We figure we have been doing okay so we can handle it  by ourselves....we don't need to pray right?  When we do that it doesn't take long and then oops.....how did we get this far off the path?  Before you know it you are going a completely different direction.

Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.  1 Corinthians 10:12-13

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you." Isaiah 43:2

The righteous cry, and the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all. Psalm 34:17-19

For me....the way I see it....why would I not seek God in everything?  Look at all He has done and all He has promised to those that follow Him?  For me one of the big things is being able to always count on someone to be there if I have to go through something.  God promises this and He has always been there for me no matter what.  Was it pleasurable to go through some of the things I have been through?  Nope not at all but I could feel God's presence with me and so I knew that I would be okay. 

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." - Deuteronomy 31:6

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." - Deuteronomy 31:8

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. - Joshua 1:5

Bottom line....since we know that we are going to be tested (even if you have no faith you are still tested in life) so why not get to know the one with the answers....the one who will be there with you through it all.....the one that promises He won't give you more than you can handle?  Why go through life having moments where you feel alone or that you don't have someone you can always trust?  

Here are some resources if you want to know more about getting to know God....I think you will be glad you did!!

http://www.joycemeyer.org/EverydayAnswers/BecomeAChristian.aspx  Joyce Meyer

http://www.cbn.com/stepstopeace/index.aspx?intcmp=EVAN0001&WT.svl=right_nav CBN
http://www.intouch.org/resources/content/topic/how_well_do_you_know_god Charles Stanley

Peace

Peace: It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work.  It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. - unknown. 

I have had this saying hanging on my wall for at least a year now.  Does that mean that I hung it there because I have earned it as a badge or an award for reaching this on a consistent basis?  Absolutely not!  It has been a process that I have been working through for a very long time.  This has been something that I have been intentional about especially in the last year.

Most of my life I have struggled to deal with being overwhelmed, insecurity, fear, easily frustrated, etc.  Anyone else?  I can honestly say that I am pretty normal even though many people refuse to admit they may have a struggle in one or all of these areas.  I have learned over time that it is much easier to admit it so that God can help you to change it.  Whether you admit it or not.....it is not a secret.  The people around you already know it anyway :)

So of course when you are working on (focusing on) something that God keeps putting in front of you.....you know you are going to be tested.....and tested I have been.  Just when you think....okay....I think I am getting the hang of this whole peace thing.....BAM!! something else hits and you are tested....again!  I know that the things that I have been tested with are things that the enemy is trying to use to pull me away from Christ but guess what......each test that I go through I press harder and deeper into my relationship with Christ. 

Not only is God strengthening me but also our family.  Everything that you do your kids watch you.  They watch your reaction.  They listen to what you say about the situation and who you go to for help, etc.  Kids (all ages) are very impressionable and they tend to mimic the things that they see.  If they see you get emotional about every situation then that is how they tend to react as well.  My husband and I have had several opportunities over the last couple of months to show our kids the right way to react to situations.  We show them that we are trusting God and we pray about the situations and not let our emotions take control.

As I go through each day the Lord is always with me and He gives me little things throughout the day that show me this.  Sometimes it is something that someone says or maybe it is something that I read or a song that I hear that hits me right on for the moment.  Here are some of the ones that He has put before me recently:

* One thing in life is certain, trials and tribulation will come. However, Believers have the victory. Gods Word is powerful and will surely come to pass.

* If you don't talk it out, you'll act it out.

* You don't have victory if you don't have problems. You HAVE victory if your problems don't have you.
* It doesn’t matter if you don’t do everything exactly right. What matters is that you step out in faith, believing God will help you!
 
It just so happens that during my latest test Mandisa's new CD came out and there are several songs on there that were very fitting.  They are very encouraging for people when they are in the middle of the struggle etc.  Yesterday I was at the point where I just didn't know what to do with all the emotions that I was dealing with and I just needed to get them out and for me at that moment it meant crying.  Did I still believe God?  Yes.....Did I still trust Him?  Yes!  At that time I decided to listen to one of Mandisa's songs called "Just Cry" and it made such a huge difference.  I think sometimes when you are trusting God and trying to stand strong you can sometimes feel bad if you feel like crying but check out these lyrics.....
 

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
Just cry
Just cry
It doesn't mean you don't trust him
It doesn't mean you don't believe
It doesn't mean you don't know
He's redemming everything

I guess I said all that to say this.....He can and will use whatever it takes to reach you and to let you know that He is there with you.  If you don't yet know Christ as Lord and Savior then it just may be that he is still knocking on the door of your heart. Behold I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him and he with Me. (Rev.3:20) 

If you have not asked Him into your heart I am here to tell you that you are missing out on the joy and peace, all the promises and the life that He has for you!  Are things easy?  Nope....but I would much rather have Him with me to help me through the struggles than to try to go through them on my own.  With Him I know that in the end I will be with Him for eternity.  I know that He loves me no matter what!  He wants to have a relationship with me and He is someone that I can ALWAYS trust.  I just can't imagine my life without Him!  He is such a comfort and He gives me the peace that I have longed for.  I can be in the middle of a situation and still have joy and keep my peace and no one can take that away from me. 

God's Hand on My Life

I soo love when I can feel God's hand on me and when I hear Him talking to me.  It can be when I am in prayer, through His Word, through a song on the radio, in a devotional, or even the words of a friend at what is that "perfect timing."  Have you ever been able to see how God orchestrated something to bring you to receiving the message He wanted you to get or even watched how He moved circumstances in a loved one's life? 

Well here is just a couple of examples of what I have been seing God do in my life just in the last few weeks.  A few weeks ago my son Brandon had come to me and asked if we could start  reading the Bible together.  We had done this in the past and so I was very receptive to this and we started  right away and I had him start in the book of 1 Samuel talking about Hannah's story and the prayer that she prayed etc.  I thought this would be a story he would find interesting and so we began.  It was around that time that I also found out that for the youth class he is in they would all be reading the book "The Master Is Calling" by Lynne Hammond.  I was excited about this because I just happen to have my own copy and decided that I would read it with our boys.  Their first assignment was to read Chapters 1 and 2.  (I had already read chapter 1).  We sat down, the three of us, and began to read (out loud) through chapter 1 and when we got to the end of the long chapter we stopped and they said they would read the other by themselves and answer the questions before class. 

In the meantime, I have been struggling with this whole issue of my weight and trying to figure out what to do to get back on track and start working out and become healthier etc.  God has been speaking to me through many different scriptures and devotionals and music etc. and getting me in position to, with His guidance, give this issue to Him so that I am not so overwhelmed and paralyzed by it that I just don't do ANYTHING. 

Today, I decided to read chapter 2 of "The Master Is Calling" and went on break.  In chapter 2 it just happens to talk about the story of Hannah and Samuel and her heartfelt prayer.  I was blown away that Brandon and I had just been reading that and had discussed some of the same points from the scriptures.  Then I read on and it started to talk about getting rid of the clutter in our hearts and giving it to God which is exactly what I need to do with all the emotions and the struggle of my weight.  God happened to have both of these topics in the same chapter of the book that I was reading.   This is just one short example of what God continues to do in my life on a daily basis. These may seem like small things to some but when it is happening on a regular basis and you know how you have been seeking Him......it doesn't matter what anyone thinks :)  He has been wooing me........

These things cause me to what to SHOUT at the top of my lungs that God is real and He is trying to reach each and every person and speak to them and show them what their purpose is for being on this earth.  He wants to tell you that He understands all that you might be going through and knows even the deep dark secrets you think you have hidden in your heart.  He already knows and still loves you.......no matter what!  He will never leave us or forsake us.  He is the ONLY ONE we can truly trust.  When all seems to have fallen apart in your life......you will always have Him! 

Do you feel that longing for something more......that feeling of something missing no matter what you try to do to make yourself happy?  Are you trying to fill that hole in your heart with other things such as food, alcohol, TV, sex, or any other thing that makes you feel good?  The ONLY ONE that can fill that hole.....is God!  He is the one that satisfies that desire deep within your heart!  He is waiting for you to call out to Him.  He has been there the whole time......waiting.  He wants to heal your heart........your pain and hurt.  He wants to listen to you whenever you want to talk.......He is NEVER too busy.......you don't need an appointment with Him!  You don't have to look or act a certain way to be "good enough" for Him.  Come to Him as you are and let Him help you to become the person you were made to BE!

The only way to accomplish what you were born for is to be in Christ, to trust in and rely on Him completely, to ask Him to forgive you for any and every sin you have committed and to ask Him into your heart, to seek Him first before anything or anyone else and to fellowship with Him....spend time with Him getting to really know Him.  Its not just about having a relationship with Him....we have relationships with all kinds of people that we don't really know.  We need to really know Him and know what He has promised in His Word!  He will change your life......I know.....He changed mine! 

My Boy Becomes a Teen.......

My son Brandon just turned 13 the other day...well back in December.  It was with mixed feelings that I wished him a Happy Birthday.  It seems like yesterday that I found out I was pregnant for crying out loud and these years have just blown by. 

Bran and I were sitting on the couch that afternoon and I asked him if he would like to hear the story of when he was born.  He did not think about the question nor hesitate for one second and said "no."  (and then smiled).  I explained to him that it is something that I think about every year and I love to share it.  He doesn't seem to find the same joy in hearing it.  Without his permission....I did express a few memories that were just aching to be shared.

Here are just a few of the happy memories that I think about when his birthday comes around or even when I am just sitting down and look at him or think back:

* It was a surprise when we found out that we were pregnant with Brandon.  We always knew that we wanted at least two kids but hadn't planned out the timing on it.  God knew the perfect timing!!  I wouldn't change it for anything!

* As soon as we found out we were having a boy.....he was affectionately called "Baby Brandon" from that day forward.

* The day (actually early in the wee hours) he was born my son Jared, who was 19 months, decided he wanted to get up at 1:00 am.  Little did we know that when we brought him in bed with us that my water would break as soon as we layed down.  Labor was quick (and painful) and he was born at 4:34 am.

* When I saw Brandon for the very first time...what stood out was the fact that when he cried he stuck his lip out like he was pouting.  It was the cutest thing ever!

* For the record....neither one of my kids looked like lizards when they were born.....just to be straight (for James' amusement).

* As Brandon grew up we had a few different nicknames for him.  Lets see.....Booga and when he had his own band (some day) they could be known as booga and the shoes (he loved to play with shoes) and for a while we called him Gooner.

Well....to be honest maybe I just needed my Mommy share time.....you know......that time that you get to share when your kids are really little and everyone wants to hear.  Even though my kids are older I still love to share about them but I don't want to wear out my welcome :)

So, in summary, I am the proud mother of a 13 year old that has brought such joy to my life over the years and what blessing God given me to be able to be the one that gets to be his mother.  I love you Bran!!