Sunday, May 4, 2014

His Voice

I got a phone call from my husband the other day.  I needed that.  He was  away for a few days at a conference in Kansas City.  We don't like being  apart but sometimes it can't be helped.   When he is away I try to keep busy doing my own thing and not dwelling on the fact that he's not here.  It's when I stop and think about it that all of a sudden the ache of missing him comes.  His phone call just happened to come at one of those moments.  Sometimes you just need to hear their voice and everything within you feels better.  Funny how they don’t even need to physically be here but you can feel them if you close your eyes.   It made me think about how it's that way (or should be) with God.   As you become more intimate with him and allow him to be your all in all you can feel that comfort…….. even relief….when you hear his voice and you can have a peace no matter what is going on around you.
The word talks about how the sheep hear his voice and he calls his own sheep by name.  He knows them and they follow him.

3 "To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. 4 "When he puts forth all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. 5 "A stranger they simply will not follow, but will flee from him, because they do not know the voice of strangers." - John 10:3-5 NASB

"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;"  - John 10:27 NASB
Reading that and remembering times when I have felt God and heard from him in different ways gives me such hope and peace.  When things get crazy at work or the bills are extra tight...or I am feeling alone and not quite myself I know that I can call out to him and he hears me.  He knows me by name and I listen for his comforting voice.....that "knowing" that he is right there with me no matter how I am feeling or what has happened.  Maybe it's a song on the radio or a scripture or quote I read.  When you spend time with God you know when he is speaking to you.
I feel these same things with my husband. 
What is the difference? 
God is perfect.  He knew me before I was even formed in my mother's womb.  He knows the number of hairs on my head and only God can fulfill my deepest desires.....because he put them there for a purpose. 
13 For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb.
14 I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
16 Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.     - Psalm 139:13-16 NASB
My husband James is a wonderful Godly man, my best friend, lover, and confidant!  God brought James and I together and he is one of the best gifts that God has ever given me; yet I would be wrong to expect James to be able to do what only God can do.  God uses James to comfort me and to pray for heal me and speak to me all the time but this is not to take the place of my time with God.....just the two of us. 
I have to be intentional about spending time with God.  We all should be.  It's not a relationship that just maintains itself.  To know God I have to read his word and spend time in prayer with him.

 I am also intentional about my relationship with James.  It's all about keeping things in balance.  Just like in any relationship you can feel when you need to spend a little more time or when you are missing the other person.  We can feel that with God.  He draws and woos us to himself.  The more you read his word and spend time in prayer and rest in learn to hear his voice and start even listening for it.  Then when you hear can feel the comfort that you are longing for. 

His presence to me can feel like the warmth of the sun on your skin or being wrapped in that favorite blanket you had (or have).  The peace that passes all understanding.  You feel his presence all around you and it strengthens you and gives you energy to go on.  God is the only one that can give you exactly what you need when you need it.  God is the ultimate hero.  Let him be yours!
Have you stopped and taken the time to listen for his voice today?  

Can you feel him with you? 

If him....spend time with him and build that relationship so you can rest in him!  It will change your life!!



Saturday, February 8, 2014

Finding God's Purpose for Me

Have you ever been in the place where you wanted to know what your purpose is?  You wanted to have a vision for your life like many of the goal-driven people but when asked "where do you see yourself five years from now" you draw a blank?  Others around you are quick to answer and may even have many goals and that makes you feel even worse.  That was me. 

For years I have been struggling to unlock the purpose God has for me.  I know that He has a purpose for every person that is in Him but when was He going to show me mine?  I am 43 years old.....time is flying by.  Watching my husband attain the things that God led him to accomplish intensified the need to know my purpose.  When my husband would ask me what I wanted to do with my gifts I would use the excuse that I didn't really think about it because we couldn't afford for me to go back to school or that when the kids are older I will explore it. 


1.       The reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc.
2.       An intended or desired result; end; aim; goal
3.       Determination; resoluteness.

I know there are many women that feel the way that I was feeling. 

This can be for many different reasons.  Here are few:

- you were not raised to have goals or a vision or even dream
- you had a dream once and it didn't happen and now you are in a different place
- you married someone whose dream is the central focus at the moment
- you married someone that doesn't think you should be able to dream let alone attain the dream
- you wouldn't even know where to begin because you are busy taking care of others
- not financially able to follow your dream

  Those are just a few examples and I am certain there are many more.
Have you ever noticed that kids many times don't tend to have a problem dreaming about what they will do someday.  They dream of being a superhero or becoming a doctor or a policeman. Maybe the goal is just to help people in someway.  Some kids act it out in their play and may even have a costume that they wear to add to the fun of it.  They are creative and they are ready and willing to share what they want to do. 

So what happens when they get older?  Some kids keep that passion and they strive to attain their goals and dreams.  For several kids things change and they have no idea what they want to do anymore.  Maybe their parents told them they were not smart enough to be a doctor or they can't run fast enough to be a policeman.   In other cases it could have been kids at school that made fun of them or comments from teachers etc.  It's at this point the child is forced to make a choice.  They can either take the discouragement as a challenge and strive to overcome it or the child gives up not only their dream but possibly dreaming as a whole.   Each person has their own story.  In most cases it involves some type of rejection.

I'm still not quite sure exactly what happened in my case but when I was in high school I wanted to be a counselor.  I didn't have the financial backing to go to college for years and years so I went to technical college to be a legal secretary.  I graduated and got a job and it all worked out.  After that I was more interested in getting married and having children so that became my focus.  Over the next 12 years I changed careers, got married, had two beautiful boys and then went through a divorce.  As a single mom it was tough to even think of what my purpose was other than making sure I was raising my boys right.

At one point as a single mother I felt that my purpose would need to be directly related to what I did
for a living since I didn't have time for other things.  This is not true.   Many times it can be something that we do on the side until we can do it full time if that is what we are called to do.   I think where I got stuck was thinking that once I attained a part of my post divorce dream (marrying my wonderful husband) that I would be satisfied with that.  Wrong.  I was fine for a while but then I started feeling restless. 

Our goals, visions, and dreams grow with us.  As we move through our lives the things around us change forcing us to change to survive.  If we don't we get stuck and it can be a struggle to step out.
At this point we still don't have extra money laying around but I have learned that if God wants to do something He will make it happen and my kids are older and working jobs of there own so what is my excuse now? 

With the new year God challenged me to fast Facebook.  To be honest I didn't hesitate.  God had been continuously drawing me into this place for quite some time so I felt prepared.  Before I could even get out of bed that morning God was telling me what to write in my last post.  Clicking ENTER .....I felt a sense of freedom and adventure like I was starting a journey.

In the days and weeks after that I spent time in prayer waiting to see if what God was trying to show me would become clear now that I had more time and less distractions.  I wasn't exactly sure what God was going to show me or where he was going to lead me but I was excited.  He started showing me different things in my every day life like ways that He uses me to talk to people, to encourage them etc.    I have thought about all of this many times and had plenty of encouragement from my husband to explore what I felt led to do.  My problem was I just didn't feel confident in what that was.  I had some ideas but that is what they continued to be.... ideas. 

Over the course of the month the pieces that God was showing me started to come together and become clear.

My purpose is to MOVE people emotionally. 

When the words finally came out of my mouth it was almost a relief.  It was during a conversation in the car traveling to my hometown.  As we discussed this new revelation we pealed away different layers and pulled out the pieces that started to complete the picture of what God was showing me.  It took me some time to be excited because it was a bit overwhelming but as I spent more time with God listening and talking to my husband I started to step out and voice some ideas of how to use my purpose for God's glory. 

Sooo what's stopping you?  What is your excuse? 

When are you going to unwrap the gift (purpose) that He already placed in your heart? 

Do you feel the restlessness? 

The longing for something more? 

He put it there to draw you to Him.

If you draw near to God He will draw near to you - James 4:8

He's just waiting for you to ask.             

Seek Him.           

Step out.                

Take a chance.

What are you waiting for?


I would love to hear your story!  Feel free to comment or email me!



Sunday, January 12, 2014

The Fog is Clearing

I'm already seeing things more clearly.  It's amazing how things can change so quickly when you make a decision to be obedient to what God is asking you to do.  I realize that not everything is going to seem like positive change.  Some of the things may hurt but it's needed. 

Sometimes things need to happen so that God can move you into the place that He needs you to be so that you can fulfill your purpose and calling.

"Our callings remain a hope until we allow the eyes of our hearts to be enlightened and choose to accept them."  - Beth Moore, Believing God. 

God wants more than for us to just believe IN Him.....He wants us to Believe Him!  Right now that is one of the goals I am working on.  Do I believe IN Him....absolutely....wholeheartedly!  Do I Believe Him?  I would like to think the majority of the time but I really need to work on that.  He has my best interest at heart.  He knows me better than anyone and He created me so what is causing my hesitation?


Doesn't it normally come down to fear?  We think we can get the job done better and faster so we step in and take over but in all honesty if we want it done right we should rely on God's direction.

Here is a list I am working on memorizing also from Beth Moore's book Believing God.  Such awesome reminders that we should have on the tip of our tongues whenever we run into issues:

1 - God is who He says He is. 
2-  God can do what He says He can do. 
3-  I am who God says I am.
4-  I can do all things through Christ. 
5-  God's Word is alive and active in me.

First steps.......making some progress. 


Friday, January 3, 2014

So Let It Begin...

So let it begin.  Let it be new.  Let me be used for your sake giving glory to Your name. 

Okay Lord, show me what I need to do.  I want You more than anything!  Obedience is better than sacrifice and so I laid down what you asked me to and I am ready to start my journey with You.  Show me what is next and though I know I won't be perfect I will follow You.  I am looking forward to what You will be showing me going forward!  Thank you Lord! 

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

What is You?

I was thinking about the whole subject of being busy lately and remembered I had typed this blog and never published it.  Then I noticed the date on the blog was a year ago around this same time.  As I read it I was blown away and how it resinated with me still.  I hope you enjoy!

(May 4, 2012)

You see a friend on the street and it might sound something like this: 
You:  Hi are you?

Barb:  I'm are you?

You:  Keeping busy

As you continue to walk down the sidewalk.

Many times when we see a friend and they actually stop to talk with you the conversation changes.....but not too far off:

You:  Hi have you been?  

Emily: about you?  What have you been up to?

You:  Oh you know.....busy with the kids and church and work.  You know how it is.  Never a dull moment.

Emily:  Yep....same here.  Well it was good seeing you.

As you both walk away and on to your destination.

Now....I am not here to judge or to try to guess what busy is to you.  I can only go by how this affects my life but I hope that maybe someone out there can relate and maybe....just will make them think about a few things.

Here is my question:  What does busy mean to you?  Seriously....have you ever really thought about how you use the word busy?  Or how many times you say it?

Here is the full definition at

The part that stands out to me is when I look at the definition:
- actively and attentively engaged in work or a pastime: busywith her work.
- not at leisure; otherwise engaged: He couldn't see any visitorsbecause he was busy.
- full of or characterized by activity: a busy life.

I can honestly say that sometimes I do not really think before I say that I am busy.  If you really think about it.....everyone is busy  in some form or fashion right?  

Some people say it because it's just an automatic response to a common question...."How are you?"
Maybe the person doesn't want to talk about how they are REALLY doing so this is the canned answer.
Maybe they are really feeling overwhelmed and need someone to step in and help them.
Maybe this is the excuse they use instead of just saying "no."

Maybe your  friend  talks all the time about how busy she is and yet you see her doing all sorts of fun things while you are busy running your kids to practice and piano lessons etc.  Does she seem busy to you?  

Or maybe someone asks what you have planned for the weekend and you say "it's going to be a busy one" and then you hear all the things your friend is going to be doing over the weekend and you think to yourself actually have it pretty easy.  At least I will be able to be home on Saturday etc.  

I guess what I am trying to say is that each of us look at being busy differently.  We may think we are busy until we compare our schedule to someone else.  At that point we start to assess whether or not it is as busy or busier than the other person.  

Honestly.....we shouldn't try to compare.  Each of us is different.  God made us that way.
*We are all different ages, raised differently, from different parts of the world even.  
* Singles, Married w/ children or without, and those taking care of parents etc.
* We each handle our schedules differently.  
* We handle stress differently.  
* Some of us have our schedules organized and planned in advance 
* Others procrastinate and have to fly by the seat of our pants.  
*Some have little children.....some teenagers....and others have kids that have kids of their own.

With all of us being different is it even fair to compare?  Not really.  What may seem busy to some may be lounging to others.  I guess this has really caused me to think .

Here is another question:  Do you really want to come across as a person that is really busy.....maybe too busy for your friends?  Maybe even too busy to spend quality time with your kids?  Too busy to give your full attention to the task at hand?  Even too busy for time with God....which should be the priority above all?  These are some of the things that may come to mind when you primarily talk about how busy you are every time you see people.  

I think sometimes using the response...."keeping busy" is an excuse to not have to talk about what is really going on.  Always using lines about being busy seems to keep people at a distance.  So are you trying to protect yourself?   Do you have some things under the surface you don't want to talk about so you say "I've been busy" to ward off any prying?  What would happen if you maybe gave the person a more honest answer?

Take some time to think about YOUR answers to these questions.  Do you have time built into your schedule for the things that you SHOULD be doing or does your schedule fill up so quickly with other things that there is no room for what you are supposed to be doing? 

I have been working to let God control my schedule.  Is it hard?.....absolutely.  I like to "control" my schedule when I can and when I can't then I like to be able to make it sound like I am just soo busy that there is no controlling it and of course it is someone elses fault :).  This is going to take time.  I am finally at the point that I have time for most of the things that I SHOULD be doing but I don't always choose to do those things and then it is clearly my fault.   I am a work in progress as we all are but I know that because I am trying and moving in the right direction.....God is blessing the efforts.  I give Him all the glory as I know that I cannot do anything right without Him!


Thursday, May 24, 2012

Gina....The Writer?

I have played this over and over in my mind.  Writing.....hmmm.  Never thought about it much in high school.  I read poetry but didn’t write.   I didn't even really think about it through college or even when I had kids.  I had a journal but struggled to write much in it.  It always felt like soo much information and too little time to keep track of it.  

The last few years I have felt what started out as a nudging.  You know….like when you are sitting in church and the Pastor says something and the person next to you pokes you a bit with their elbow letting you know ......THAT word was for you.  Yep....that kind.

I started blogging….just so that I could record some of my thoughts.  I had no intention of even sharing them but was intrigued by this whole blogging concept.  I loved reading what other people were writing on their blogs and found so many of them touching and inspirational. 

Then I felt this gentle urging to actually post them.  Knowing that people might actually read them made me a little nervous……okay….a lot nervous.  Then it was almost as if God was challenging me.  For example…do you remember telling one of your friends “I dare you….I bet you won’t do it.”  Well, that is what the feeling grew into until I actually posted my first blog.   To be honest….I kind of wimped out a bit at first because I posted it but didn’t really let anyone know it was there so maybe a stranger or two might read it but no one that I knew.  That felt fairly safe right?  

Then God pushed me forward like a little kid that doesn’t want to do something and their parent physically moves them toward the task that is needing to be done.  Yep…I know….grow up right?

Well that was over two years ago and 46 posts.  I guess you could say I have gotten over myself a bit and I have been working on being obedient. 

The fact is….I really enjoy it.    

The problem is….finding/making the time to do it.

Now I am at the point where the desire to write has been bubbling up stronger and I have gotten a taste of what it feels like when God uses one of my posts to touch someone.  

At this point,  I have read so many other fantastic blogs and I have thought so very many times I want to write like that!

I even signed up for a short program online to learn how to be a better writer over the course of 30 days.  Honestly, I never really even got started.  I haven’t made room for writing in my life.  I haven’t accepted myself as a writer.  The passion is there, the opportunity, the resources for learning, and yet…..I still have not MADE the time for it. 

TODAY I want to change that! 

TODAY I believe I can write what God leads me to write.

TODAY I believe that I can learn the skills that are needed to be a good….if not…even GREAT writer in God’s time.

TODAY I will set a plan to move forward even if it is in baby steps.

TODAY I get it......I really get it!

Thank you to all of you who have read even one of my posts!  Thank you for being a part of my journey!  It is all still a work in progress but the journey is always better when you have others along for the ride :)



Saturday, April 28, 2012

Learning Through the Struggle

Today has been one of those days where I have been able to stop and think and pinpoint what God is showing me.  It has caused me to ask....why can't that happen everyday right?  I'm sure it can....I think right now God is showing me some things, teaching me some things, and possibly even showing other people some things through me.  I definitely don't want to try to control what God does.  That would make Him "laugh out loud." 

I have really been thinking about what it is that God is wanting me to to.  What is the purpose He created me for?  Ephesians 2:10 says:

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.  

I think many times we just don't know OR we just don't quite realize what He created us to do in this life.  I struggle with this.  I listen to my husband talk about how God is showing him that he needs to do this or that and how he feels led to start this etc.  I have not felt that leading very least not the way that he does.  It always seems like my husband is dreaming about doing something.  He has always had goals that he is striving for and where am I?  You guessed it.  I am following him around as he chases his dreams and follows his purpose that God has given him.  And he has been successful!  Don't get me wrong....I love being there to support my husband.  That gives me great joy!  I do know that God has things He wants to do through me as well!

Then my mind wanders to what weighs even heavier on my mind.......

What I find funny in all this is the fact that my husband and I are struggling in the area of our finances and we pray and seek and pray and seek and the direction or guidance from God just doesn't seem to be as clear in this area.  As we struggle.....other areas of our lives have seemed to become clearer.  My husband's program at school is becoming more sucessful, more and more opportunities have come up for him to minister to others, I have found myself in more situations to encourage others. 

God has clearly shown His presence in our lives.  Have we always had food....yes.  Roof over our heads?  Absolutely!  Have we been able to do some of the urgent things we needed to do and the money able to be found?  Yes.  Clearly....I see that God has His hand on our family.  No doubt.  So why do I feel like I am missing some of the guidance that I am seeking?  Could it be that I am not listening or maybe I am hearing it and the answer just doesn't feel good.  The jury is out on this one yet.

My about our car.  Long story short we are in a position where we need to make some quick decisions about our car.  We are a one car family so that makes it even more urgent for us as it would be quite hard to be without a car altogether.  We have received help in other ways for other things and even sometimes had to turn away help in certain areas because, for example, we just don't have room for another TV.  I have sought out advice.....reached out to some resources....humbled myself and explained our dilemma to some folks.  Still....I have not felt a clear answer come forth with a peace. 

I CAN say that I have learned some things through this struggle though:

1.  Do not judge someone elses situation.  You do not know the details behind why they are where they are OR what God is teaching them through those circumstances. 

2.  Do NOT make a big decision without having prayed and been given a peace about it and even sleeping on it overnight to make sure you are still at peace in the morning.  We have paid the consequences on this one for a few years now.

3.  No one has it all together.  Don't try to act like you do or be ashamed that you are struggling with an area of your life.  Everyone has at least one area of their lives that God is working on.  What may be a struggle for someone else may not be a struggle for you and vice versa.

4.  Don't be afraid to be real and rely on your family.  This is what family is all about.  Even if they may be disappointed in decisions you have made or mistakes that have happened....they are STILL your family.  They will still love you even if they don't approve of the situation.

5.  Obedience is better than sacrifice.

6.  Bottom is too short to be worried about what others think about you or your situation.  God is the one we should be looking to.  Now...should we all be out there blabbing about our business to everyone?  NO.  You know who you can trust and who you don't feel comfortable with and if you aren't sure.....God will definitely let you know.  Don't be surprised if He uses you and your situation to teach something to someone else in the process.  I believe He continues to do that in our situation.  I believe at some point in the future God will be using us to help someone else that is going through a similar experience and we will be able to say that we have been there and God lead us out and He can do that for them too.

Even though I don't feel a clear answer to my specific question....obviously God is working and so I need to trust things will work out in His timing and be ready and flexible for what He will have us do when He will have us do it.

Lord, I thank You for showing me that no matter what you never leave us.  You are always there, always speaking to us, and always answering our prayers even if it is not the answer we were looking for. I know you didn't promise that you would fix everything for us but you did say you would walk through it with us.  Thank you!  I truly don't think I could get through this without You!  I love you with all my heart and I will continue to seek You first and let everything else fall in line after that. 
                                                                                     - Your Princess