Children and Their Bag of Gifts

Have you ever watched your kids and saw that their actions remind you of someone?  Maybe it is your husband or your mom or maybe their brother or sister?  When you have a child you have a preconceived idea of what you would like your child to be like...right?  Oh admit it....you at least entertained the thought for a bit :)  Maybe you want them to play football like you did...or maybe you want them to be a doctor, etc.

As you watch them grow and you start to see their personalities come out do you always see what you thought you would see?  Maybe....maybe not.  All children are born with giftings.  For visualization's sake, think of it as a bag of tools that come with them.  We did not pack that bag or decide what the bag would contain.  God made these decisions right?  (For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. - Psalm 139:13)  God has a plan for each child and though parents have much influence over their child, I know that there are certain things you just can't make your child like or dislike etc. 

Here is an example: I love music.  I was in the band and the choir in high school.  I am on the praise and worship team , the dance team, and in any choir or production that we have at church.  My kids, on the other hand, do not necessarily desire to be in these things.  I can "talk them into it" sometimes but the desire is not even close to the desire God has given me for these things.  Does this mean my kids are defective or that I love them any less?  Absolutely NOT!  Does it mean that it won't change as they get older?  No....as they grow their personality can change with maturity etc.  At one point though, I had to come to the realization that my kids are not going to have my same personality (especially since they are boys).

Though my boys are not going to have MY personality, I have to say that when I see glimpses of ME in the things that they say, things they do, or the way they act......it warms my heart.  That is....when they are positive things I have done.  I realize that the male adults in their life have a greater influence on them so when I see one of my traits I feel extra special.  For example, I received an email from my son Brandon's teacher recently.  Here is what she said:

Another student was complaining about having so much late work to get done before the reward on Thursday. Brandon sat with him and encouraged him to get it done. He gave him numerous reasons why he should get it done and how he would be able to get it done if he tried. I appreciate his support for his classmates and encouraging them to be successful.  

This email had me smiling from ear to ear!  This is a glimpse of ME in Brandon.  This shows me that he watches what I do and listens to what I say, even if there is an eye roll at the time :)  I made sure to talk with Brandon that night and praise him for doing a great job etc.

This morning God had me thinking again about the influences others have in our childrens lives whether it be parents or friends etc.  This caused me to think about those that are still single and thinking about getting married.  They need to look at the person they are thinking about marrying and envision their life down the road several years.  They need to think about the fact that when they have children the boys will most likely follow the personality and traits of the father and the girls will follow the mother.  For some of you this is a great thing!  Wonderful!   For others....maybe it doesn't seem quite so bright. 

For those that already have kids.....no matter the situation.....it is NOT too late to make sure that your kids have the proper influences.  First of all.....Pray.  Pray that God would be the primary influence and guide the path of your child.  Second........ look at ourselves  If we are not walking with Christ and/or have bad habits or personality traits that we do not want our kids to have then we need to make some changes.  I know that many people believe that people can't change but I am here to tell you that change can happen if you allow God to make the change!  We cannot sit back and expect that others are going to be a big enough influence to keep our children from picking up bad habits.  Third......be watchful and aware of who your children spend time with, what they watch on TV, what they listen to, etc.  Everything that they are exposed to affects them in some way.  Can you ALWAYS be there to protect them from bad influences?  NO.....but you can train them up to walk with Christ and to know how to deal with these situations properly.

To this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that you should follow His steps.  - 1 Peter 2:21

If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.  For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.     -John 13:14,15

Am I an expert in any of this?  Absolutely not!  God is continuously showing me areas that I need to work on or change.  I will never be perfect as Christ is the only one that lived a perfect life without sin and HE is the example that I am trying my best to follow.  I pray that as I follow Christ that my kids will see this influence from Christ and continue to follow him for the rest of their lives. 

I could never ask for a better influence than that!!

Do you set a good Godly example for your kids?  Or for that matter....do you set a good example for others around you?  What traits do you see coming through your kids?