Gina....The Writer?

I have played this over and over in my mind.  Writing.....hmmm.  Never thought about it much in high school.  I read poetry but didn’t write.   I didn't even really think about it through college or even when I had kids.  I had a journal but struggled to write much in it.  It always felt like soo much information and too little time to keep track of it.  

The last few years I have felt what started out as a nudging.  You know….like when you are sitting in church and the Pastor says something and the person next to you pokes you a bit with their elbow letting you know ......THAT word was for you.  Yep....that kind.

I started blogging….just so that I could record some of my thoughts.  I had no intention of even sharing them but was intrigued by this whole blogging concept.  I loved reading what other people were writing on their blogs and found so many of them touching and inspirational. 

Then I felt this gentle urging to actually post them.  Knowing that people might actually read them made me a little nervous……okay….a lot nervous.  Then it was almost as if God was challenging me.  For example…do you remember telling one of your friends “I dare you….I bet you won’t do it.”  Well, that is what the feeling grew into until I actually posted my first blog.   To be honest….I kind of wimped out a bit at first because I posted it but didn’t really let anyone know it was there so maybe a stranger or two might read it but no one that I knew.  That felt fairly safe right?  

Then God pushed me forward like a little kid that doesn’t want to do something and their parent physically moves them toward the task that is needing to be done.  Yep…I know….grow up right?

Well that was over two years ago and 46 posts.  I guess you could say I have gotten over myself a bit and I have been working on being obedient. 

The fact is….I really enjoy it.    

The problem is….finding/making the time to do it.

Now I am at the point where the desire to write has been bubbling up stronger and I have gotten a taste of what it feels like when God uses one of my posts to touch someone.  

At this point,  I have read so many other fantastic blogs and I have thought so very many times I want to write like that!

I even signed up for a short program online to learn how to be a better writer over the course of 30 days.  Honestly, I never really even got started.  I haven’t made room for writing in my life.  I haven’t accepted myself as a writer.  The passion is there, the opportunity, the resources for learning, and yet…..I still have not MADE the time for it. 

TODAY I want to change that! 

TODAY I believe I can write what God leads me to write.

TODAY I believe that I can learn the skills that are needed to be a good….if not…even GREAT writer in God’s time.

TODAY I will set a plan to move forward even if it is in baby steps.


TODAY I get it......I really get it!




Thank you to all of you who have read even one of my posts!  Thank you for being a part of my journey!  It is all still a work in progress but the journey is always better when you have others along for the ride :)


Blessings!!


-Gina

Learning Through the Struggle

Today has been one of those days where I have been able to stop and think and pinpoint what God is showing me.  It has caused me to ask....why can't that happen everyday right?  I'm sure it can....I think right now God is showing me some things, teaching me some things, and possibly even showing other people some things through me.  I definitely don't want to try to control what God does.  That would make Him "laugh out loud." 

I have really been thinking about what it is that God is wanting me to to.  What is the purpose He created me for?  Ephesians 2:10 says:

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.  

I think many times we just don't know OR we just don't quite realize what He created us to do in this life.  I struggle with this.  I listen to my husband talk about how God is showing him that he needs to do this or that and how he feels led to start this etc.  I have not felt that leading very often....at least not the way that he does.  It always seems like my husband is dreaming about doing something.  He has always had goals that he is striving for and where am I?  You guessed it.  I am following him around as he chases his dreams and follows his purpose that God has given him.  And he has been successful!  Don't get me wrong....I love being there to support my husband.  That gives me great joy!  I do know that God has things He wants to do through me as well!

Then my mind wanders to what weighs even heavier on my mind.......

What I find funny in all this is the fact that my husband and I are struggling in the area of our finances and we pray and seek and pray and seek and the direction or guidance from God just doesn't seem to be as clear in this area.  As we struggle.....other areas of our lives have seemed to become clearer.  My husband's program at school is becoming more sucessful, more and more opportunities have come up for him to minister to others, I have found myself in more situations to encourage others. 

God has clearly shown His presence in our lives.  Have we always had food....yes.  Roof over our heads?  Absolutely!  Have we been able to do some of the urgent things we needed to do and the money able to be found?  Yes.  Clearly....I see that God has His hand on our family.  No doubt.  So why do I feel like I am missing some of the guidance that I am seeking?  Could it be that I am not listening or maybe I am hearing it and the answer just doesn't feel good.  The jury is out on this one yet.

My question....specifically.....is about our car.  Long story short we are in a position where we need to make some quick decisions about our car.  We are a one car family so that makes it even more urgent for us as it would be quite hard to be without a car altogether.  We have received help in other ways for other things and even sometimes had to turn away help in certain areas because, for example, we just don't have room for another TV.  I have sought out advice.....reached out to some resources....humbled myself and explained our dilemma to some folks.  Still....I have not felt a clear answer come forth with a peace. 

I CAN say that I have learned some things through this struggle though:

1.  Do not judge someone elses situation.  You do not know the details behind why they are where they are OR what God is teaching them through those circumstances. 

2.  Do NOT make a big decision without having prayed and been given a peace about it and even sleeping on it overnight to make sure you are still at peace in the morning.  We have paid the consequences on this one for a few years now.

3.  No one has it all together.  Don't try to act like you do or be ashamed that you are struggling with an area of your life.  Everyone has at least one area of their lives that God is working on.  What may be a struggle for someone else may not be a struggle for you and vice versa.

4.  Don't be afraid to be real and rely on your family.  This is what family is all about.  Even if they may be disappointed in decisions you have made or mistakes that have happened....they are STILL your family.  They will still love you even if they don't approve of the situation.

5.  Obedience is better than sacrifice.

6.  Bottom line....life is too short to be worried about what others think about you or your situation.  God is the one we should be looking to.  Now...should we all be out there blabbing about our business to everyone?  NO.  You know who you can trust and who you don't feel comfortable with and if you aren't sure.....God will definitely let you know.  Don't be surprised if He uses you and your situation to teach something to someone else in the process.  I believe He continues to do that in our situation.  I believe at some point in the future God will be using us to help someone else that is going through a similar experience and we will be able to say that we have been there and God lead us out and He can do that for them too.

Even though I don't feel a clear answer to my specific question....obviously God is working and so I need to trust things will work out in His timing and be ready and flexible for what He will have us do when He will have us do it.

Lord, I thank You for showing me that no matter what you never leave us.  You are always there, always speaking to us, and always answering our prayers even if it is not the answer we were looking for. I know you didn't promise that you would fix everything for us but you did say you would walk through it with us.  Thank you!  I truly don't think I could get through this without You!  I love you with all my heart and I will continue to seek You first and let everything else fall in line after that. 

                                                                                     - Your Princess

Parenting My Teens...........

So I was looking back at past blogs that I have written and honestly they ministered to me.  Sometimes looking back at things .......or how you handled things in your past can help you get through things you are going through now.  It gives you encouragement and strength knowing that you have made it through troubled times before.  It doesn't have to be the exact situation......it just may contain some of the same feelings that you dealt with previously.

This morning I was thinking about my kids and how now that they are teenagers it is tough to really know what they are thinking or how they feel about things.  You can ask them till you are blue and they say "I don't want to talk about it" or "Do we really have to talk about this?  It's no big deal.  Whatever."  When you do finally get them to maybe open up a bit and share you may discover that how they are feeling is not what you were hoping.  They are going through things that maybe you knew but had never confirmed.  Once it is confirmed then it is real.

As a mom sometimes the hardest thing for me is to keep MY emotions about their situation hidden from them.  There is a time and a place to display these.  Sometimes you need to let them know how you feel and other times it will just make the situation harder for them.  As parents we really need to encourage our kids and let them know that they can trust us with those feelings and we won't react inappropriately.  I remind myself that as they get older we need to let them deal with their own emotions and just be there to help them understand the emotions and learn how to navigate them.  We are NOT to deal with their emotions FOR them.

After having one of these conversations recently I was reflecting back on how I felt about what was said.  To be honest it was really hard because I really wish that my son didn't feel the way he feels and I wonder what is causing it.  Is it something that happened recently?  Does it stem way back when his dad and I were divorced? Is it the circumstances we are in?   Is it puberty?  I'm not even sure if he knows.  I so badly want to help but during the conversation I had to really be careful what I said.  With teens if you react with too much caring and try to smother them with love....they will pull back.  If you don't show enough care or interest in what was discussed.....they will pull back.  I think this is where the way that you have treated them over the course of time plays a huge part.  I know that my husband and I have always shown and told our kids how much we love them.  We make it clear that we always want them.

As I was thinking about this and feeling like a bad parent I thought about how I wish things were and even how I thought things were in my world of thinking.  I was thinking about how I want things to be and who I want them to be like etc.  In the middle of my reflection on myself and the situation God stepped in and gently reminded me that He is the one that created them and gave them to me.  Then He took me back to a blog I wrote in 2010 on something very similar and showed me:

All children are born with giftings.  For visualization's sake, think of it as a bag of tools that come with them.  We did not pack that bag or decide what the bag would contain.  God made these decisions right?  (For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. - Psalm 139:13)  God has a plan for each child and though parents have much influence over their child, I know that there are certain things you just can't make your child like or dislike etc.  http://glrobertson.blogspot.com/2010/05/children.html

He also reminded me that the person that my children should be patterning themselves after is Jesus.  It shouldn't be me or my husband or their brother or a famous athlete.  Ultimately we are all to be like Jesus.  That all seemed easier when they were little and you explained this to them in simple terms.  Now it seems harder.  They have lived more life and experienced more things.  They are responsible for their own relationship with Jesus and we can't MAKE them have one.  It is tough to watch them go through things and though you encourage them and give them advice on what to do....ultimately, they have to make their own decisions! 


To this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps.              -1 Peter 2:21


He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.       -1 John 2:6


What then can we as parents do?  We pray and encourage them to pray and we continue to be there when they need us and give advice when they ask etc.  

Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.               - Mark 11:24

Whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.    -John 14:13  

We show them Jesus over and over again until they go to Him on their own.  We lead by example like Jesus did.  We can't control what goes on but we can help to equip them to know who to go to and what to do when situations arise.  


Lord, I thank you for the blessings you have given me in my children.  I lift them to you and surrender the control that I thought that I had.  I ask You to give them wisdom and strength to deal with the situations that will come.  I ask You to put a hedge of protection around them to protect them from hurt, harm and illness.  I ask that You guard their hearts and save them until the time that you would have them share it with the one you have for them.  I ask that you would soften their hearts so that they can feel Your love and that You long for a relationship with them.  I pray this in Jesus name.  Amen!

One Day in a Struggle.........

I realize that I have not written in a very long time.  It's not that I haven't wanted to.  Actually I have started to write several times but then had to go and do something else.  My laptop has not been functioning so writing at home has not been happening and of course my time at work needs to be primarily spent on work :)

Today I felt led to write an example of how God speaks to me many times.  I decided to start from when I got up this morning and just include things that are put in my path.

Quick background for the day.....my husband and I are in the middle of a struggle...right now...this day.  We are not sure how things are going to turn out but we know that God has His hand on it.  No matter what it may look like.....we KNOW that God is bigger than our circumstance.  Knowing this......here is how my morning has been and it is only 9:30 a.m. 

Instead of sleeping in this morning I felt led to get up and watch a video.

To Pray or Not To Pray by Robert Morris - Gateway Church

http://youtu.be/7gtKdNSr2Ck

The message is excellent!  It was so needed to encourage me today that YES God hears my prayers and though He cannot change His character according to the Word.....He CAN change His mind :)

On the bus to work I tend to listen to something whether it be music or a teaching message or something.  This morning I couldn't get the message I wanted to listen to to play.  It was then dropped in my spirit to play:

No Matter What by Kerrie Roberts

http://youtu.be/OA3MSqufJP4

Which led me to play .....Keep Breathing by Kerrie Roberts and that became my "Song of the Day"

http://youtu.be/hsN2HTyXVmg

I got to work and looked up my daily devotional by Joyce Meyer:

Passing Life's Tests

Life is filled with challenges that test our determination and our faith in God. Whether we're faced with the impending threat of evil or with everyday hassles, the quality of our character is sure to be tested on a regular basis.

It would be a great mistake to overlook the fact that God tests our hearts, our emotions and our minds. What does it mean to test something? It means to put pressure on it to see if it will do what it says it will do. Will it hold up under stress? Can it perform at the level its maker says it can? Is it genuine when measured against a true standard of quality?

God does the same with us.

Are you being tested today? The key is to keep trusting God, even if you don't understand. There is no such thing as trusting God without unanswered questions, but when you push ahead, despite your doubts, He will build you up and make you strong.

Psalm 7:9

9 Oh let the wickedness of the wicked come to an end; but establish the just: for the righteous God trieth the hearts and reins.

Prayer Starter: Lord, when tested, I want to be ready, holding up under pressure, following You no matter what. Show me daily how to put my trust in You, even when I struggle with unanswered questions.

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I then logged on to Pandora to listen to some music and the very first song was:

Faithful by Darlene Zschech

I've come to love You Lord,

I've come to bring all my praise

I've come to honour You,

And to glorify Your beautiful Name.

Your favour is surrounding me.

Your word is lighting my way.

You're faithful to deliver me,

Your glorious love leads the way to salvation.

All heaven and earth will worship You

Singing holy is the Lord.

A hymn of pure adoration,

as we see Your wonderful Kingdom come.

Your favour is surrounding me,

Your word is lighting my way.

You're faithful to deliver me,

Your glorious love leads the way to salvation.

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Daily Text that I receive today said:

When you know that Jesus has removed all burdens, you will refuse to be weighted down by them.  Meditating on the Word will give you access to victorious living.

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Soooo....not to keep you reading forever but in just a few hours of my day I truly feel that God has let me know that He is in this with me.  I am not alone.  To be honest I actually have a peace.  This is just a brief example of how some of my days go.  It isn't just when I am struggling.  He shows up every day in big and small ways. 

Bottom line....if what I have written can encourage someone today....even just a little bit...then it is worth it.  He is trying to talk to us, to reach out to us, to let us know that He is there, to let you know there is a light on the horizon!  Are we going to go to Him?  Are we going to invite Him into our heart?  He already knows what you have done and He loves you no matter what!  He is the only one we can truly trust.  Think about it......think about Him today :)

-Gina