Learning Through the Struggle

Today has been one of those days where I have been able to stop and think and pinpoint what God is showing me.  It has caused me to ask....why can't that happen everyday right?  I'm sure it can....I think right now God is showing me some things, teaching me some things, and possibly even showing other people some things through me.  I definitely don't want to try to control what God does.  That would make Him "laugh out loud." 

I have really been thinking about what it is that God is wanting me to to.  What is the purpose He created me for?  Ephesians 2:10 says:

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.  

I think many times we just don't know OR we just don't quite realize what He created us to do in this life.  I struggle with this.  I listen to my husband talk about how God is showing him that he needs to do this or that and how he feels led to start this etc.  I have not felt that leading very often....at least not the way that he does.  It always seems like my husband is dreaming about doing something.  He has always had goals that he is striving for and where am I?  You guessed it.  I am following him around as he chases his dreams and follows his purpose that God has given him.  And he has been successful!  Don't get me wrong....I love being there to support my husband.  That gives me great joy!  I do know that God has things He wants to do through me as well!

Then my mind wanders to what weighs even heavier on my mind.......

What I find funny in all this is the fact that my husband and I are struggling in the area of our finances and we pray and seek and pray and seek and the direction or guidance from God just doesn't seem to be as clear in this area.  As we struggle.....other areas of our lives have seemed to become clearer.  My husband's program at school is becoming more sucessful, more and more opportunities have come up for him to minister to others, I have found myself in more situations to encourage others. 

God has clearly shown His presence in our lives.  Have we always had food....yes.  Roof over our heads?  Absolutely!  Have we been able to do some of the urgent things we needed to do and the money able to be found?  Yes.  Clearly....I see that God has His hand on our family.  No doubt.  So why do I feel like I am missing some of the guidance that I am seeking?  Could it be that I am not listening or maybe I am hearing it and the answer just doesn't feel good.  The jury is out on this one yet.

My question....specifically.....is about our car.  Long story short we are in a position where we need to make some quick decisions about our car.  We are a one car family so that makes it even more urgent for us as it would be quite hard to be without a car altogether.  We have received help in other ways for other things and even sometimes had to turn away help in certain areas because, for example, we just don't have room for another TV.  I have sought out advice.....reached out to some resources....humbled myself and explained our dilemma to some folks.  Still....I have not felt a clear answer come forth with a peace. 

I CAN say that I have learned some things through this struggle though:

1.  Do not judge someone elses situation.  You do not know the details behind why they are where they are OR what God is teaching them through those circumstances. 

2.  Do NOT make a big decision without having prayed and been given a peace about it and even sleeping on it overnight to make sure you are still at peace in the morning.  We have paid the consequences on this one for a few years now.

3.  No one has it all together.  Don't try to act like you do or be ashamed that you are struggling with an area of your life.  Everyone has at least one area of their lives that God is working on.  What may be a struggle for someone else may not be a struggle for you and vice versa.

4.  Don't be afraid to be real and rely on your family.  This is what family is all about.  Even if they may be disappointed in decisions you have made or mistakes that have happened....they are STILL your family.  They will still love you even if they don't approve of the situation.

5.  Obedience is better than sacrifice.

6.  Bottom line....life is too short to be worried about what others think about you or your situation.  God is the one we should be looking to.  Now...should we all be out there blabbing about our business to everyone?  NO.  You know who you can trust and who you don't feel comfortable with and if you aren't sure.....God will definitely let you know.  Don't be surprised if He uses you and your situation to teach something to someone else in the process.  I believe He continues to do that in our situation.  I believe at some point in the future God will be using us to help someone else that is going through a similar experience and we will be able to say that we have been there and God lead us out and He can do that for them too.

Even though I don't feel a clear answer to my specific question....obviously God is working and so I need to trust things will work out in His timing and be ready and flexible for what He will have us do when He will have us do it.

Lord, I thank You for showing me that no matter what you never leave us.  You are always there, always speaking to us, and always answering our prayers even if it is not the answer we were looking for. I know you didn't promise that you would fix everything for us but you did say you would walk through it with us.  Thank you!  I truly don't think I could get through this without You!  I love you with all my heart and I will continue to seek You first and let everything else fall in line after that. 

                                                                                     - Your Princess